Seattle Crime Reports : Seattle Crime Blog : Seattle, Washington

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Either I'm in a laughing mood, or local crime news has been particularly hilarious lately.

There's a piece in today's Times about the latest weapon to assist Seattle meter maids in their valiant quest to enforce parking laws: Segway scooters.

I always thought SPD's contempt for parking cops could not be more apparent than it already was: after all, having to ride the city streets in those euro-boxes they use now seems like the ultimate humiliation. "No, you don't get a gun, rookie...and what's more, you'll be making your rounds in one of these." 

I was wrong. Good work, Seattle: if you really wanted to find a way to make people respect parking enforcement even less, then the six Segways - which according to The Times cost $5,000 a pop - were a worthwhile use of our city's funds.

Luckily Seattle isn't the parking enforcement laughing stock of America...turns out the machine that even our country's president couldn't handle is popping in law enforcement circles everywhere. Segway says that their "personal transporters" are used by "more than 100 police agencies worldwide," from New York to Texas to Chicago (as pictured at right).

Locally, cops seem to like the battery-powered scooters:

"I love it. You can get around town nicely," [Officer Minh] Doan said. "You don't have to fight traffic, you don't have to find parking, and it saves a lot of gas. You cover a lot more ground than you do on foot."

Perhaps the best part out of all of this is the fact that the Segways have flashing red and blue lights on them.  I mean, seriously. You know those police videos where a cop tries to ram a car and ends up spinning out himself? Just picture that...but replace the fleeing vehicle with a running bum and the cop car with a Segway. Comedy gold.