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Hope you all haven't filled up on pumpkin pie, because this evening, those tireless reporters from across the pond bring us a late night Thanksgiving treat: Rudy Hermann Guede, the convicted drug dealer and YouTube buffoon recently arrested in connection with Meredith Kercher's slaying, has been officially linked to the victim's body.

And it gets better. According to reports from The Times Online, DNA found on Kercher's corpse offers definitive proof that Guede had sex with the victim the night of her death.

Someone better stick a fork in Guede: like so many other turkeys on this fourth Thursday in November, he's done.

There seems to be little argument against his presence in Kercher's bedroom that night, judging by the evidence as reported:

Last night’s results showed Mr Guede’s DNA matched that found on a tampon which indicated that Ms Kercher had what was described as “violent” sex on the night she died. It also matched the DNA found on toilet paper in the bathroom.

The article claims that Guede has admitted to being in the house when the murder occurred, but that  an unknown "Italian man" committed the crime. The only Italian man I've seen mentioned so far in connection with this case is Raffaele Sollecito. Is that who he is referring to? Or is it someone else entirely? One way or another, the simple fact that Guede admits presence but denies any wrongdoing makes it clear that like Sollecito and Amanda Knox, this suspect has joined in the never-ending blame game.

When speaking to a German judge, the Times Online reports, Guede even went so far as to claim that he was in the bathroom when the actual crime was committed and (valiantly, no doubt) attempted to resuscitate the victim after finding her throat slit.

But wait...don't earlier reports say it took Meredith Kercher an excruciatingly long time to die? I'm no doctor, but I'm almost positive that you can't resuscitate someone who is still alive and conscious.

Judging by their response in the article, Guede's lawyers are desperately trying to keep this new DNA link from sinking their case:

One of Mr Guede’s lawyers, Vittorio Lombardo, said the test results did not mean his client was guilty. He said: “These results need to be carefully looked at. Rudy has not denied being in Meredith’s house, and the tests do not say that the sex was not consensual.

“Rudy maintains he was in the bathroom when Meredith was killed, and these tests do not show anything which contradicts that.”

Keep on working for that paycheck, Vittorio. We'll see whether the sex was consensual - and whether "Rudy" was actually in the bathroom at the time of the attack - as more details are revealed.

Meanwhile, the featured story at CNN.com this evening relates to Amanda Knox's recently released jailhouse note (which we reported on earlier today). Nothing too exciting about this piece, although it does give a little more of the text from Knox's note regarding why she initially placed blame on her employer Patrick Lumumba:

In her statement, Knox said she saw Lumumba in "flashes of blurred images."

"I saw him near the basketball court. I saw him at my front door. I saw myself cowering in the kitchen with my hands over my ears because in my head I could hear Meredith screaming," she wrote.

"But I've said this many times so as to make myself clear: These things seem unreal to me, like a dream, and I am unsure if they are real things that happened or are just dreams my head has made to try to answer the questions in my head and the questions I am being asked.

Then, the quote of the century:

"But the truth is, I am unsure about the truth."

And that's what they used to hold Lumumba in custody for two weeks?

Jesus. Maybe the Italian judicial system really is fucked.